I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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