At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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