The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
