I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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