great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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