I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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