I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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