But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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