Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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