it wasn't lemon gatorade
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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