marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
