Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
