I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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