I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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