Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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