Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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