If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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