You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
