Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
