we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
