just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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