dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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