when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
