it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
