jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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