A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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