Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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