Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
