someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
40s are totally the cure
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize