As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
