You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
