I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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