A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
