I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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