eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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