I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
