I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
