We're like a lot better than the average bears
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
