Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
