What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
