This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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