yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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