I hate all girls vehemently.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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