i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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