If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
