Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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