trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize