Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize