Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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