yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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