There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
