hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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