I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
