she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My cat gives me a boner
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
